11/10/2010 - Viagra Falls Band - How One Man Cracked Me Up With The Story of Their Band!

Recently the Viagra Falls Band added a profile to our website. Since we like to promote the talent around the lake, we never charge the bands to be listed on our site and allow them to post all their gigs on the calendar. When a band takes advantage of putting their profile on the site, I get notified and of course send them a welcome message with instructions on how to use the features of the site for their self promotion. During the course of these emails, George Blowfish, the publist for Viagra Falls Band, sent me this email. After picking myself up off the floor from laughing so hard, I thought I'd share it with you all.

Hi Debra:

Viagra Falls gigs are like World Wars. They are epic, but its not a good idea to have too many of them.

Actually, it's an interesting story. Allow me to painfully labor you with it.

Back around ten years ago, yours truly and three good friends of mine, Gary, Mr. Cheesewhizz (both members of Viagra Falls) and Mr. Doggity (our Reuben Kincaid-like agent) wanted to have a boys camp out weekend, away from our city lives, families and responsibilities. We started, just the four of us, going to Eminence, MO and the Jacks Fork River to play poker, drink, play a little music, drink, smoke a cigar or two, drink, and not worry about our hygiene much. Cheesewhizz and me, well, we used to play tunes together at Mizzou back in the late 1970s and we even wrote some songs together, so we go way back. Gary was the best man at my wedding. Mr. Doggity and I have been pals since 8th grade. So we're all tight, so to speak.

The first year, one night we sat on the banks of the Jacks Fork river doing songs, and annoying/entertaining the other campers. No sound system, just a couple guitars, my voice and Mr. Doggity banging a spoon against a plastic pig. You can't buy that kind of entertainment anywhere at any price. I know, I've tried.

Our weekend trip has become a yearly autumn sojourn. Over the years more and more of our pals have joined us for what we now call "The Weekend of Mass Destruction" or "WMD." We love the Lake, because some of us are from KC, some are from St. Louis, and some from points beyond who can fly to KC or St. Louis. Rusty, our guitarist, was Mr. Doggity's brother in law before a divorce. It's OK, we got custody of Rusty and the plastic pig after the divorce and Doggity's ex is cool with that. Our drummer Vince is an old pal of Mr. Cheesewhizz, and is one of the nicest, down to earth guys I know. And he's one Hell of a photographer to boot.

See, that's the thing. All of us have been scattered to the winds. We all have day jobs in advertising, or manufacturing, or industrial safety, or whatever. Except Gary. He's now retired and we all hate him very much for that. Each guy has some musical talent, but luckily some more than others. Rusty, Vince, Gary and Cheezewhizz are legit, experienced, extremely talented musicians. And me, well, I'm the band's comic relief basically. I sing because I'm too fat to ski.

We'll also be playing this year with MJ Hulsey, who is a music teacher in Stover, MO. She saved our bacon last year by bringing us some drums at the 11th hour (our drum kit didn't make it out of KC in a horrible packing accident) and we were all taken by her talent. So we're looking forward to seeing her again and playing some tunes with her. She's fabulous.

Our entourage has grown to somewhere between 20 to 30 WMDers at times, some traveling as far as California and Chicago. So we've taken to staying at a Lake Resort to house us all in one place. The one we like is about 200 yards from Neighbor's Landing, where we play our gig. That way we stay off the road and out of trouble. It's only fun until someone gets hurt. So we try very hard to avoid serious injury, roadside sobriety drills, paternity suits or other messy litigation.

The good folks at Neighbor's have had us play the bar four years now. We always have a blast and try to put on a humorous and musically kick ass show. We like the people who frequent the bar, and love being able to do our thing. Because in truth we're trying to entertain ourselves as well. We usually practice for about a half an hour before the show. Can you tell?

That's our story. Fascinating, huh?

Hope you'll come see us, and when you do, just introduce yourself and I'll buy you a Pink Squirrel, or whatever you're drinking. I'm having a Pink Squirrel. You want one too?

Have fun, thanks for the pub, and invite all your friends. That's Saturday, Nov 13th!

Your Pal,
George Blowfish
Illustrious Potentate and Publicist Viagra Falls

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